Hi Reader!
This is a series of emails that focus on the intersection of love, relationships, tarot and astrology. If you have a painful relationship pattern you want to heal, you're in the right place. And if you don't, you might want to keep reading just to learn more about my love story.
๐ Before you dive in, you should know that I'm also offering this newsletter as a private podcast that you can listen to in your favorite podcast player! Click here to sign up for the podcast.โ
(Just a heads up that this week's podcast will come out on Monday.)
I spent a decade trying to fit into my childhood vision of what my life should be - married with at least two kids.
Despite feeling miserable in my marriage, I clung to it for all I was worth because it's what I thought I should want.
Even though I was living out the external version of what I thought wanted, inside of my body, I felt alone, unsupported, and lost as I kept giving up what I wanted to make my ex happy.
The worst part is that by staying in my marriage, I had to abandon myself and my needs. Over and over again.
Then, one breezy day in early September of 2021, I finally decided I had enough. I drove down the winding road from my marital home (which was at the top of a steep hill in the middle of a canyon), and began the scary, but ultimately freeing, journey of getting divorced and finding a life that fits me better.
(This coincided with major Uranus and Pluto transits to my chart. Coincidence? I think not.)
Now, I'm a single mom at age 42.
Sometimes I look at families with two parents and two kids and feel a bit like I missed out on the love story I was supposed to have.
But I now live my life on my terms instead of my ex husband's. I live where I want, do what I want, spend my money on what I want, and raise my daughter according to my own values and inner compass.
The reality is, I was never meant to have that two parent, two kid traditional household at this point in my life.
How do I know?
Because I don't have it.
And because when I look at my birth chart, I see that I need a lot of solitude, and that love is really hard for me, and that I have a lot of conflicting parts that take wisdom and time to learn how to work together.
I have the chart of someone who has to go through a lot before I can figure out how to love someone else and myself at the same time.
Exploring my chart gives me a lot of juicy information that I can use to embrace my love life for what it is - not what I think it should have been.
It gives me a ton of self-compassion for what I've been through. It shows me how I tend to abandon myself - and how to keep coming back to myself even when it's hard.
I may not have a Disney princess love story, or even the love story I envisioned as a kid.
But I have something else that's immensely valuable - the knowledge that I have my own back, no matter what. And the self-awareness to stay steady and empowered, even when other people disappoint or trigger me.
We learn what love is supposed to look like from our families, our friends, and our society.
Maybe you never wanted to replicate what your parents had, or maybe you wanted a love story like theirs.
Maybe you thought you should have more sex in your twenties, or maybe you learned that you were supposed to wait until marriage for sex.
Maybe you were like me, wanting a typical family structure and not quite being able to have one. Or maybe you thought you would never have kids and somehow ended up with two amazing children anyway.
Whatever the outside world taught you your love story should look like, it's probably different from your lived experience, and from what you really need in a relationship.
Which might lead you to believe you're doing it all wrong. Or that you somehow missed the love boat. (Spoiler alert: Doing it all wrong and missing the boat aren't real things.)
So what's the first step to having a love life that is deeply satisfying and secure?
Understanding what you actually want (regardless of what anyone else says), what you're built to create, and the lessons you're meant to learn through your relationships.
One of the best places to find that is in your birth chart.
Next week I'll be sharing three planets that can give you big insights into what you need in your relationships. Stay tuned.
Here's to you and your worthy heart,
Daniela
P.S. I'm working behind the scenes on a 1:1 coaching offering in which I'll use tarot, astrology, and other intuitive practices to help you understand the complex ways you engage in relationship, and to shift your relationship patterns so that you can feel empowered and secure, no matter what is happening with your partner or the guy you matched with on Bumble.
If this sounds like a YES to you, click here to let me know you're interested! You'll be the first to get allll the details and to be able to sign up.